


Over Bittersweet Coffee

by takastucci_sen



Series: Bittersweet [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe-Canon Divergance, Codependance, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Relationship Fixing, Slow Burn, light fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8830003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takastucci_sen/pseuds/takastucci_sen
Summary: "I know you've read Macbeth, Mr. Literature Major. You know what happens after he became King.""Is that what you're worried about?""No, I'm more worried about about it being a possibility."Two idiot kings try to rebuild six years of a lost time after a rather messy reunion.





	1. Good Morning

Hide missed his old smile. 

 

Well, he missed a lot of things about his old self, but he missed his smile the most. After his and Kaneki's talk, they had found themselves settling down and telling miscellaneous stories about their time away from each other, and he noticed that he wasn't smiling like he felt he should. 

 

When Kaneki told him that his squad had to dress up as girls in order to get leads on a ghoul, he felt he should've laughed more than just a quiet chuckle. Or when he told him about how he almost ended up talking to the fish in the sea while waiting for his partner, he should've smiled wider. 

 

It was strange. 

 

For awhile he had thought getting the closure that he wanted with Kaneki would allow him to pretend again. He could be the bubbly, sunshine that Kaneki always wanted again. 

 

He supposed that he forgot how to do it, and he couldn't tell if Kaneki minded or not. 

 

From what he could tell, he didn't. If he really didn't want to be around him if he wasn't pretending, he wouldn't have tried to find where he lived, or even have talked to him that night. 

 

He cared. Hide had to remind himself of that. 

 

“Ken?”

 

The man responded with a small shift in his sleep before curling back up. He smiled at him. Not nearly as bright, but it was a start. 

 

“Sleep well, you deserve it.”

 

He really did. It must've taken a lot for Kaneki to be willing to spend three weeks trying to find him, along with the other things he must've been doing. He didn't know if he wanted him to do that, not after how he treated him before. 

 

He poked Kaneki's cheek, trying to lighten his own mood. 

 

That didn't matter now. Kaneki was with him, that's what mattered. 

 

He gently lifted the other man off of the couch and headed into his room, then gently set laid him down on the bed. Should he sleep too? Let Kaneki have the bed and have him take the couch? 

 

Hide ended up lying on the bed next to him. For a few moments he simply stared at his friend. During their talk, he never stopped to really look at Kaneki, to take in how he changed. From where he was, it wasn't by a lot. 

 

He wondered when Kaneki had gotten so small, in a weird way. He was more muscular, but still seemed so fragile. Like a statue made of glass. One push and it would shatter. 

 

His hair was white, though it was harder to tell in the dimly lit room, and his arms and legs seemed like they had chapped completely then dyed red. 

 

Strange, yes, but still undoubtedly Kaneki. 

 

Hide smiled again, feeling more at ease. It was Kaneki, just Kaneki. No Eyepatch, no Centipede, no One Eyed King. Kaneki.

 

That's all he would ever be to him. 

 

He brought Kaneki closer to him and wrapped his arms around him as gently as he could. 

 

“Good night, Ken. We’ll start again tomorrow.”

 

\--

 

Morning came after a very restful night. Fitting, Kaneki thought. A true dawn of a new day. 

 

Hide was still fast asleep, half curled up with his arms wrapped around his torso. He smiled fondly. It was nostalgic, in a way. When they were children and had sleepovers, Hide had a tendency to hold him sometime after they fell asleep. It was reassuring that at least that wasn't gone. 

 

Kaneki gave Hide a gentle nudge, and was returned with a noise of protest.

 

“Come on, Hide.”

 

He was given a mumble. 

 

“It's 10, Hide. You can't stay asleep forever.” He pushed, nudging him harder. 

 

Hide seemed adamant about keeping him in his grasp, as he pulled him closer and held him like some type of teddy bear. 

 

Part of Kaneki didn't want to wiggle out of his hold, it felt too comforting. A strong hold that wasn't too tight. For a moment he contemplated melting back into Hide’s arms and going back to sleep. 

 

He quickly decided that would be counter productive. 

 

He also decided to use his secret weapon. 

 

Kaneki placed his hand near Hide’s tailbone and gave it a gentle scratch. This caused him to quiver around and groan, breaking his slumber.

 

Kaneki chuckled. Good to know that still worked. 

 

“Good morning.” He said with a soft smile. 

 

Hide half opened his eyes. “You could've let me sleep longer.” There was humor behind his voice. 

 

“I could've, but we wouldn't have been able to talk as long.”

 

“Just five more minutes then?”

 

“We can lay down for five more minutes.”

 

Hide quietly groaned. “Don't do that again if I doze off.”

 

“No promises.”

 

“You really haven't changed.”

 

Kaneki cheekily grinned at that. 

 

They laid there for around three more minutes. Hide softly rocking him, trying not to fall back asleep and nuzzling his hair ever so gently. Kaneki relished in that, feeling himself melt back into his arms without feeling drowsy. Eventually, Hide let go of him and got out of his bed. To shower, Kaneki presumed. 

 

He took that time to go and prepare coffee for them. 

 

The apartment had a different feel to it during the day. It wasn't quite as lonely or isolated, maybe because of the small amounts of light coming through the windows. Though that was rather limited too. 

 

He noticed that at some point Hide must've cleaned up, as the main room was much cleaner. The papers were in folders on the coffee table, markers were capped and placed neatly next to them, and most of the pictures on the bulletin board were taken down. 

 

Hide was always good at covering his tracks. Asking about it would be difficult, if he learned anything that previous night, it was that Hide was an expert as keeping secrets. Everything he told him were things he had kept since they met. 

 

Should they fix that? Kaneki already wanted to change the fact Hide had to pretend to be something he usually wasn't around him. He shouldn’t be so selfish, he was his friend too.They wouldn't go anywhere with pretending around each other.

 

He would be a better friend this time, he decided that the previous night. Be the one Hide needs and deserves. 

 

He made coffee with that thought in mind. He'll figure something out eventually.


	2. Nostalgia

Hide had been sitting in his bathroom for what felt like hours. The heat of the steam had long since cooled down and his hair was almost completely dry. It felt too early for his mind to be racing like this, and it felt like it was over nothing. 

 

Kaneki wanted to talk, that couldn’t be too hard. It was just talking, exactly what they did last night. Talking wasn’t hard, in fact, it was something he was normally good at. The thought was exciting, exhilarating even. After years of separation, they could finally… do something. 

 

Talking was step one, wasn't it? No, reaching out was step one, and he hadn't even been the one to do that. Kaneki had reached out and they amended fences, now all they had to do was build the bridge. That wouldn't kill him. After all, the worst was already said. He no longer had to worry about their friendship being ruined or Kaneki deciding to shut him out. 

 

Well, their friendship was safe, but being separated again was still a possibility. Kaneki had proven before that he could be there one day and disappear for a long amount of time. Even if he said he was lonely, he’d never show it around people who respect him to such a high degree. Hell, he never had shown it around him, even after being inseparable for ten years.

 

The progressive thing to do would be confronting him on the subject, but Hide didn’t know if he had the heart to. Even if the larger issues were out of the way, the smaller ones could always be the things that nullified their progress. 

 

For the first time in years, Hide was at a loss for what to do. 

 

He looked up and stared at his own reflection, half expecting for it to give him the answers, or some advice on what to do. 

He chuckled half-heartedly. Of course it wouldn’t work. 

 

Nor would trying to gather his thoughts in the bathroom, apparently. 

 

God, he was a mess. 

 

He eventually concluded that this was step three, and he hadn’t made it there yet.

  
  


After about ten minutes of attempting to come up with some sort of plan,  he found Kaneki messing around with his coffee machine. The room smelled nice, not just like paper and permanent marker, instead it was Kaneki's natural scent mixed with the smell of fresh coffee. The smell of home. 

 

“Hey” he said, a lazy smile slipping onto his face. 

 

Kaneki turned around and returned his smile. “Took you long enough.”

 

“These looks take time, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I would.”

 

Hide found himself genuinely chuckling. 

 

“Do you want breakfast?” Kaneki asked. “I can probably make something.”

 

Hide shook his head. “I'm not hungry. And you won't find much food in there anyway.”

 

Kaneki nodded, then he felt his heart sink slightly. 

 

_ Make it better  _ _ “ _ _ Make it better”, Hide’s brain urged him. He didn’t want to lose his best friend again. _

 

“There's meat in there. I know it isn't much, but it's something.”

 

“You said you weren't hungry.”

 

“I'm not, but I want to share a meal with you.”

 

That cleared the air rather nicely. 

 

\--

 

It was nice to eat with Hide again. He forgot how many years it had been since they had last done this? Four? Five? Far too long. 

 

He liked the fact that Hide made an attempt to clear the air whenever it got heavy. The jokes didn't have the same facepalm quality they used to, but he could appreciate the effort.The meat tasted nice too, but he wouldn't call it good. It reminded him of what he ate in the CCG. 

  
  


Kaneki tried to focus on that nostalgia instead of focusing on the pit that was slowly growing in his stomach. Eating with Hide was nothing new, but eating flesh with Hide was something he never once crossed his mind. 

  
  


He thought he had prepared himself for this. He knew that opening up the doors that Hide had practically given his life to keep shut would lead to this feeling. What the feeling was, he didn't quite know. It was something in between guilt and fear. A feeling he hadn't felt in ages, the kind he couldn't hide behind a mask or a title. 

 

The feeling of being hypocritical? The fact he still couldn't wrap his head around what he was seeing. Even if it made sense and he understood.

 

“Kaneki?”

 

He tried to swallow the knot in his throat and looked up from his meal. 

 

“You have that look on your face again.”

 

“What look?”

 

“Something’s bothering you. I can take your plate if you don't want to eat.”

 

“No, that's not it.”

 

Hide’s face fell. “We can talk about it.”

 

Talking sounded nice. 

 

Kaneki knew that four years ago, he would've bitterly refused to talk to him, but now he wanted nothing more than to have a heart to heart with Hide. He didn't want to be afraid of him anymore, he didn't want moments like this to be so uncomfortable. 

 

Kaneki nodded and set his fork down. 

 

“I'm sorry, but this just…isn’t right.”

 

“As in?”

 

“As in uncanny. I shouldn't be…” The pit in his stomach opened wider. 

 

“I don't mind you eating, if that's what’s making you uncomfortable”

 

The air was think again. “It's not, I just…it's hard, Hide. I know that you're trying but…you're still eating…”

 

Hide’s eyes dulled, they looked like they did back at the park, on the old little whale, gazing listlessly out at the world. Just by that glance, Kaneki knew those words hurt more than eating him ever would. 

 

“I’m still eating people, right?”

 

The question lingered, suspending in the air and the hole in his stomach almost felt like it was going to swallow him up. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to make it worse. 

 

_ Talk. Talk.  _

 

“I don't want you to take that the wrong way! The whole fact still hasn't fully sunk in, and I…”

 

Hide’s face was completely drained of any light, and at that moment Kaneki fully understood why he had never shown this side of his personality. Hide saying he was scared of his reaction was far different than seeing the hurt on his face. 

 

_ “So much for being what he deserves.” Kaneki’s consciousness laughed at him.   _

 

“I'm…an idiot.”

 

Hide looked up at him, somewhat confused. 

 

“You're trying. I'm not, and I'm sorry.”

 

Hide put a smile on his face, but it was forced beyond recognition. “You don't need to apologize.”

 

“Last night, there were no apologies, and now I owe you a huge one. I'm really sorry, Hide. I feel like a hypocrite for finding it hard to accept you for who you are when you could accept me in a heartbeat. for me.”

 

“I know it's hard, and I don’t expect you to accept me right away.”

 

“But you accepted me right away, Hide-”

 

“And I know this is harder for you than it was for me.”

 

“It shouldn't be.”

 

“I'm not saying what you said was okay, I'm saying that I don't blame you. If you kept this kind of thing from me since we met, I'd feel betrayed too.”

 

Betrayal, was it? 

 

Yeah, it was. 

 

Hide took a breath and continued. “If it helps, nothing really changed. My body’s the same as what it was back then.” He reached his hand across the table and placed it on his cheek. “If you saw me as human then…then I hope you can still see me as human now, even if not in the traditional sense.”

 

Hide never stopped seeing him as human, even after he became a complete monster. By that alone, Kaneki should be able to fulfill his request. 

 

“I’ll try. I promise.”

 

Hide smiled at him, fully genuine. “I don't expect perfection, Ken. You're allowed to feel this way. We'll both get better from here, deal?”

 

Kaneki didn't hesitate. 

 

“Deal.”

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to @joonipers on tumblr for betaing this mess


End file.
